OF MODESTY AND MEN
In the first of a 2 part series Sandy and Elisabeth sit down with their husbands to get a male perspective on modesty, lust and purity. In this interview style episode the men talk about what they were raised to believe, how those views have changed over time and what we need to teach the next generation about these topics.
David is Sandy’s husband of 11 years. They have 2 children together, he has two adult children and he has two children in Heaven. He is a self-described “Christian mutt” as he was born into the Lutheran church, baptized in a Baptist church and attended Charismatic and Pentecostal churches with his family along with attending Catholic school for most of his education before settling into non-denominational churches in adulthood. In his professional life he is a manager in Information Technology, in his internet life he is the host of the Shooter’s Nation Podcast and in his personal life he is a perpetual student of leadership, safety and self-defense.
John is Elisabeth’s husband of 8 years. They have 1 child together. He was raised primarily in the Baptist church. He felt abandoned by the church after his father passed away at a young age and spent a few years away from it before God called him back to the church. In his professional life he is in Information Technology, in his internet and personal life he is a self professed D&D nerd.
This discussion was initiated because of a pastor who tweeted the following: “Your seasonal reminder, ‘Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control.’ 1 Timothy 2:9. Leggings are underwear not outerwear, wear them properly.” This was follow up to his tweet: “Leggings aren’t pants. Wear pants. Leave the leggings at home.” basically admonishing women for wearing leggings and yoga pants in public because he deems them immodest. He also defended his tweets saying that he was a shepherd shepherding his sheep.
MODESTY, PURITY AND LUST OH MY
When asked what they thought about these words here were the responses:
Modesty has more to do with the behavior of the person wearing the clothes then it does with the clothes the person is wearing. Purity has more to do with a persons thoughts and motives. Lust is the act of dwelling and fixating on impure thoughts and is a sin.
Modesty does not equal pure thought. Immodesty does not equal impure thoughts. The burden of purity falls to the person doing the thinking. You are in control of your actions and your thoughts and what a person does or doesn’t wear is completely irrelevant to how you handle yourself.
Placing the burden of controlling mens lust on the clothing of women is just an excuse to sin.
Blaming someone else for your thoughts or actions is weak.
TRAIN THEM UP
What should we teach our sons? You are capable of controlling your thoughts and keeping yourself from dwelling on and living in those thoughts. You always have a choice to remove yourself from a situation. You may have to sacrifice something to do it but you always have a choice. Follow Christ’s example and subject your thoughts to the same control that you would subject your body.
What should we teach our daughters? Expect respect and not settle for anything less than that. Don’t allow yourself to be treated as an object of someone’s sexual fantasies. Don’t settle for a guy that treats you like a possession and hides you away from the rest of the world but expects you to be the object of his sexual desires behind closed doors.
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