The Holding Pattern

As I type this, I do not know what day it is (update: I checked, I’m typing this on Thursday). My whole house is sick with some fantastic viral ick. My husband (the highly functioning autist with Tourette’s), who rarely gets sick, and has had a fever one other time since our daughter was born in 2014, has had a fever for 3 days. There’s so much snot you guys. Ugh. Everyone is grumpy. I have made two trips to Target for supplies, one trip to the pediatrician to check the ears, lungs and confirm viral ick, and as of last night, my own throat feels like it’s made of sandpaper. We’re all tired, we’re all grumpy, we’re all just hanging out, waiting to be well. There’s no way out but through. Waiting to be through, sucks.

I’m whining. This is a very first world problem, and I am unspeakably blessed that I have insurance and money for Tylenol and a mom who sends my child Amazon love packages of new crayons and coloring books. I am very grateful that viral ick is the worst ick we’re dealing with right now.

These last few days have reminded me of some past phases of my life when things were less than awesome. When we were completely broke, for example. When we were waiting for my husband to get a new job, sitting on the couch through the third trimester of a high risk pregnancy, waiting for my daughter, or when I was 26, waiting to test results to see if I had cancer. I have friends in Ministry who are waiting to hear about their husbands getting a job at a church, and friends who are waiting to be approved as foster parents. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

It’s a hard thing for such finite creatures who from a young age, are well aware that their time in this life is limited. Waiting to run in a new direction, waiting while healing be it physical or emotional, waiting through growth.

We’ve talked on the podcast about waiting when we talked about Zerubbabel rebuilding the Temple. There are other places in scripture that talk about waiting, and patience and one is in Isaiah 30. Here the scripture talks about warning God’s people against going into Egypt, being stubborn, and not waiting.

It starts with this: “Ah, stubborn children,” declares the Lord, “who carry out a plan, but not mine,” (can anyone besides me relate to this?), and goes on for 16 verses to talk about what happens when you don’t listen to God. Then in verse 18 the tone changes, and talks about God’s graciousness – “Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice;  blessed are all those who wait for him.”

If you’re reading this, and you’re in a period of waiting, I just want you to know God knows you’re frustrated. He knows you are waiting. He knows it’s hard. You have not been forgotten, you are not in some sort of cosmic time out like a bad child (unless you’re in the belly of a whale), and your Heavenly Father is not uncaring about your inner turmoil. You will be blessed for waiting and trusting in Him, even when it’s hard, instead of fleeing to Egypt (or going into work while you’re still sick).

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